Ambitious? Perhaps. But what fun is it to set a goal that is *easily* achieved? For me, if it's not a real challenge, it's just not fun. Fortunately, the launch of the Tour de Fleece lined up with a long weekend, giving me the chance to earn my Yellow Jersey for Team Sasquatch.
While we were working out breakfast on Sunday, Andrew and I were listening to "Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!", and it turns out that the 35th anniversary of JAWS was a couple of weeks ago. (They also did a game where the caller had to pick the real movie out of a list of titles, which I aced and was incredibly proud of. Andrew, on the other hand, sighed with what *sounded* like disappointment at the fact that I've seen every bad creature feature involving sharks, dinosaurs, snakes and combinations of all three.)
While I do have a special place in my heart for sharks and all things JAWS (along with a funny childhood story, which I'll tell later), I thought the Tour de Fleece would be a *great* time for a JAWS marathon- especially since all of the movies were available on Netflix Instant Watch.
I called BFF Erin and she was up for it, and we spun, and watched JAWS, and spun, and watched JAWS 2, and spun, and watched JAWS 3, and spun and watched JAWS: The Revenge. By the end of Day 3, I ended up with 8 ounces of my wool spun:
Did you hear something?
OH NO, BEHIND YOU!!!!
Ahem, sorry. Habit.
Watching JAWS really took me back in time- and I was surprised at how graphic some of the scenes are on a large, HD television. (For your reference, my first JAWS experience was on a TV screen that is smaller than my 15" laptop.) I also found the clothes and hair endlessly entertaining, and the fact that from movie to movie there was *no* plot continuity for the characters.
This doesn't surprise me, since Peter Benchley only wrote JAWS (which is a phenomenal read, by the way) and they treated the characters the same way the writers of First Knight treated the whole King Arthur legend in their "adaptation". (FYI, in the JAWS 2 through The Revenge novels, the shark is a self-aware character who *really is* hunting the Brody clan. Yes, I read them; No, you don't need to.) They even say, during the credits of one of the films that the characters are only loosely based on Benchley's.
However, I didn't let a little thing like character inconsistency or the shark in JAWS: The Revenge GROWLING when it got shocked get in the way of my intense enjoyment. Instead, I spun away and asked questions like "If the shark bites through an electrical main line, and it sinks into the water, how long would it take before folks could get in the water?" and "How far would the water be charged?" and finally, "Where is a physicist when I need one?!"
What I thought was most interesting is that JAWS hasn't been remade. They've remade many of the classics, and I am genuinely surprised that JAWS hasn't yet. So, from our couch, we re-cast JAWS. For your enjoyment:
JAWS 2010 (directed by Yours Truly):
Chief Brody: Patrick Wilson
Matt Hooper: Ryan Reynolds
Quint: Hugh Laurie
This casting (which Andrew asserted was all about the abs), led to a few sillier casting decisions:
JAWS 2010, a la Star Trek (directed by Yours Truly):
Chief Brody: Chris Pine
Matt Hooper: Zachary Quinto
Quint: Bruce Greenwood
JAWS 2010, a la Supernatural (directed by Yours Truly):
Chief Brody: Jensen Ackles
Matt Hooper: Jared Padalecki
Quint: Jim Beaver
...and finally, JAWS 2010, a la Muppets (directed by Yours Truly):
Chief Brody: Kermit the Frog
Matt Hooper: Gonzo the Great
Quint: Rowlf the Dog
(Andrew wanted to cast Animal as Quint, which I declared was stupid, and then *may* have said, "Andrew, I am trying to cast this seriously", to which everyone dissolved into hysterical laughter. Also, wouldn't a muppet shark be ADORABLE?)
Bon chance, teammates. Remember, it is clearly *never* safe to go back in the water...
Watching JAWS really took me back in time- and I was surprised at how graphic some of the scenes are on a large, HD television. (For your reference, my first JAWS experience was on a TV screen that is smaller than my 15" laptop.) I also found the clothes and hair endlessly entertaining, and the fact that from movie to movie there was *no* plot continuity for the characters.
This doesn't surprise me, since Peter Benchley only wrote JAWS (which is a phenomenal read, by the way) and they treated the characters the same way the writers of First Knight treated the whole King Arthur legend in their "adaptation". (FYI, in the JAWS 2 through The Revenge novels, the shark is a self-aware character who *really is* hunting the Brody clan. Yes, I read them; No, you don't need to.) They even say, during the credits of one of the films that the characters are only loosely based on Benchley's.
However, I didn't let a little thing like character inconsistency or the shark in JAWS: The Revenge GROWLING when it got shocked get in the way of my intense enjoyment. Instead, I spun away and asked questions like "If the shark bites through an electrical main line, and it sinks into the water, how long would it take before folks could get in the water?" and "How far would the water be charged?" and finally, "Where is a physicist when I need one?!"
What I thought was most interesting is that JAWS hasn't been remade. They've remade many of the classics, and I am genuinely surprised that JAWS hasn't yet. So, from our couch, we re-cast JAWS. For your enjoyment:
JAWS 2010 (directed by Yours Truly):
Chief Brody: Patrick Wilson
Matt Hooper: Ryan Reynolds
Quint: Hugh Laurie
This casting (which Andrew asserted was all about the abs), led to a few sillier casting decisions:
JAWS 2010, a la Star Trek (directed by Yours Truly):
Chief Brody: Chris Pine
Matt Hooper: Zachary Quinto
Quint: Bruce Greenwood
JAWS 2010, a la Supernatural (directed by Yours Truly):
Chief Brody: Jensen Ackles
Matt Hooper: Jared Padalecki
Quint: Jim Beaver
...and finally, JAWS 2010, a la Muppets (directed by Yours Truly):
Chief Brody: Kermit the Frog
Matt Hooper: Gonzo the Great
Quint: Rowlf the Dog
(Andrew wanted to cast Animal as Quint, which I declared was stupid, and then *may* have said, "Andrew, I am trying to cast this seriously", to which everyone dissolved into hysterical laughter. Also, wouldn't a muppet shark be ADORABLE?)
Bon chance, teammates. Remember, it is clearly *never* safe to go back in the water...
For the record, I also think that Quint could be played well and rather ironically by Fozzie Bear, but more likely this would be a mixed cast with a couple human characters and a couple muppets.
ReplyDeletei saw jaws at the theatre when it came out, i was a wee lass- and didn't go near the water for a loooong time. still an all time favorite of mine. was watching it recently with one of my boys when i heard -that's some bad hat harry-the motto for the house production company-who knew?!-more useless tidbits for trivia night at the pub. oh and did you know animal house was filmed in eugene? another classic.
ReplyDeleteI saw Jaws as an adult, and I'm still not fond of going into the ocean. Sharks have always scared me. I'm a big wimp.
ReplyDeleteI like the idea of casting Patrick WIlson in anything in which he 1) has the potential to be nekkid, and 2) gets all wet.
ReplyDelete