The Da Vinci Code… of my pants.

In July, I decided that belt buckles were the ultimate accessory and bought five of them. (Four for me, one for Andrew.) Given that July, August, and the better part of this month have been SUPER-HOT, I haven’t had much occasion for a belt.

Yesterday, I decided that since I was in meetings for a good part of the day (in enthusiastically air-conditioned conference rooms), I would wear jeans, and my new Superman belt buckle.

So, I drank a cup of tea while driving in, and fifteen minutes into working, I needed to use the restroom. No big deal, I walked in, closed the door behind me, and went to undo my belt-

Stuck.

That can’t be. I can open a belt. I’m probably pulling at the wrong angle.

No, it’s stuck.

Oh my god. What if I can’t get out of my pants? What if I pee all over myself at work because I couldn’t undo my buckle?!

I start to panic. Seriously, sweating, prayer, the whole enchilada. With one desperate tug, the belt mercifully frees me. I nearly wept with joy.

It felt like a flashback to kindergarten. You know, when you’re trapped in your overalls? Except that I could always wiggle out under the straps.

In discussing this with Andrew last night, I announced that it would be The Most Embarrassing Thing Ever to wet your pants at work because you couldn’t undo your buckle.

Lessons I learned? Test the buckle/belt combo BEFORE leaving the house. Also, go to the bathroom before it becomes urgent. You never know when you’ll be trapped in your pants.