Lace!

First:

Hollis is evil. Pure evil. First, she starts carrying Fleece Artist, and then she has the nerve to show me what she's knitting. Like the yarn crack dealer she is, she also was more than helpful when I was matching yarn to the fabric.

Truly, the yarn was a perfect match:

Second:

Eunny Jang is also evil. An evil genius. Her Print 'o the Wave Stole (a free knitting pattern, found here) is beautiful and ADDICTIVE. It turns out that I prefer knitting rectangular shawls to Faroese style ones. (Math isn't hard, but figuring out what your numbers should be when you haven't been paying attention is um…. hard.) I may knit a thousand of these. Or, you know, three.

I started it on Sunday, and by tonight (Tuesday) I have finished seven of the 34 repeats. This morning I considered calling in sick to knit lace.

As an alternative to needless deceit, Beautiful Lace came to work with me. I used the T-pins I have at work to pseudo-block it on my walls, an in-progress bit of art.

Wouldn't you want to gaze adoringly upon this all day?

[Aside: It turns out that I can't knit lace and read subtitles. I made Andrew read me the subtitles on Heroes on Monday. Although he is a charming man, he didn't do voices to differentiate the characters.]

Third:

My house has reached what can only be referred to as "Critical Yarn Mass" (C.Y.M.). I have two (ahem, maybe three) solutions to this problem that are being implemented as we speak:

Solution A: Move into a new house. Sell the Shanty. (Hopefully this will work.)

Solution B: Knit and spin more. I was planning on doing a whole lot of knitting and spinning during my leisurely search for employment. Un/Fortunately, I had (maybe) five days where I wasn't interviewing or prepping for the new job.

Solution C: (We'll call this "The Silent Solution", since I don't want to hear about it, EVER.) Stop buying yarn for a while. A long while. Unlike a person with a substance abuse problem, I have decided that I do not need a Yarn Anonymous sponsor. I am happy being a yarn lush. What I need to do is knit more, and simply restrict my purchases to must-haves that I simply can not wait on.

Realistically speaking, to keep my yarn at the current level (we won't talk about my wardrobe, this is simply a manual count of balls of yarn), I could buy a pair of socks worth of socks per week, since I've been finishing roughly a pair a week, minimum. (More if I go to a show/movie or Andrew and I go somewhere with a long drive.)

Since I could outfit the nations of the world with the sock yarn that I already have in my stash, logic says that I should not be buying sock yarn for a while. Solving the C.Y.M. problem also logically implies that I would be knitting anything but lace (one ball = a million yards= lots of knitting time), but in Rosario's timeless words, "The heart wants what it wants, Chica!"

It is at this point where I can * almost * understand knitting giant bulky sweaters on broomsticks, but at that point, I may as well give all of my yarn away. Giving it away is always better than committing Crimes Against Yarn, and we all know that I'm not about to give away my yarn at this point.

I'm a wool pig, and I know it.