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Wednesday, September 20, 2006

These Sweaters May Be Too Small

Shame. Panic.

This is what I felt when I realized that the sweaters I have started for Andrew might be too small.

In my defense, I did a gauge swatch, and they fit with the proper ease when I started them. One was started in Fall of 2003 (the Alice Starmore Gansey), and the other (Lisa Souza Fair Isle) was started in August of 2005.

The ASG is the more troubling sweater, since the LSFI is only a few inches long. These sweaters have over 300 sts/round each. There are a bajillion stitches in the ASG. It's closer to completion, since I'm about halfway up the chest patterning. When I contemplated pulling it out of the UFO bin (as part of the UFO jihad), I realized that in the last three years, Andrew and I are older, and are both a little rounder.

This can go two ways.

Scenario 1: It fits, and I'm the only one who has had weight fluctuations.
Scenario 2: It doesn't fit.

In the event of Scenario 2 happening, I have come up with some solutions:

Option 1: Give the sweater to another freakishly tall person.
Option 1a: Shorten the sleeves and wear it as an oversized sweater with set-in sleeves.
Option 2: Buy Andrew a giant hamster ball so that he can work off any extra poundage until the sweater fits.
Option 3: Divorce Andrew. Call Matthew Gray Gubler, who is tall (6'2") and thin. Promise him a beautiful, complex, couture sweater in exchange for being my love slave.
Option 3a: Divorce Andrew. Call Robert Sean Leonard (who is 6 feet tall), and offer him the same deal as Matthew Gray Gubler. Let him know there's competitiion.
Option 4: Never finish the sweater, and avoid Lisa Souza forever. (This is not really an option since her yarn is like crack.)
Option 5: Finish the sweater and hope that one day we have a son that will fit the sweater.

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